Sunday, August 14, 2016

We Have a Threenager

The Threenager is a unique creature. Small, yet mighty, and very, very loud at times. The Threenager is extremely adorable and cuddly in appearance, standing roughly 30″ tall with messy hair and kissable cheeks usually dotted with remnants from the most recent meal or snack. For the most part they survive on a simple diet of cereal, yogurt, and chicken nuggets. On occasion they will consume fruit {preferably mixed in ice cream}, and vegetables if properly pureed into smoothies, popsicles, or baked into a chocolate cake. Threenagers possess {and store?} extreme amounts of energy which they use to run, play and shout approximately 15 hours of the day. Although the Threenager biologically requires 10-12 hours of sleep daily, they generally will resist any attempt to offer them rest until the unknown limits of their energy stores have been maximized. Do exercise caution when handling a Threenager as they’re not the cleanest of creatures. Frequent hand-washing, bathing, and/or hosing-down is often recommended since they tend to pick up an inordinate amount of germs, grime, and filth over the course of their adventurous day. Most of the time they are quite charming and playful, and although domesticated, Threenagers have an uncanny ability to mimic wild animals. Their moods can be sensitive and vary greatly from moment to moment. If dissatisfied for any reason, the Threenager has been known to bear teeth, roar, growl, howl, and thrash about. This behavior is likely to persist until the Threenager gets his or her way, has been sufficiently comforted, or gives up on his or her pursuit. 

It can be challenging to share your home with a Threenager, but for all the challenges they present, there are also many rewards. Known for having wildly comical personalities, Threenagers can and will say anything that comes to mind. They have a unique perspective on the world and life in general, and when they share their thoughts, it is both insightful and hilarious. They are fantastic huggers, usually squeezing tightly around your head or neck, and have irresistible, infectious laughter. They’re excellent for keeping a household lively and entertained. They are feisty, loyal, imaginative, messy, destructive, adorable, goofy, and so darned lovable. If you’ve ever had a Threenager, you know what I’m talking about. And if you haven’t, I highly recommend the experience :)

Little Sister, our sweet middle child, turned three in March. Where that time went, I have no idea. She is both our fireball and our delicate flower. She is our wild-child and the most-attached-to-mama. She will push Big Sister’s buttons mercilessly and but will follow her every move. She is crazy adorable and she drives me a little bonkers some days. 
Lately, everything is drama. She was helping me make zucchini muffins the other day. I was mixing the batter in our blender and when she saw me shredding the zucchini she threatened me- “You do not put that zucchini in the smoothie muffins! If you do that, I will not be your baby any more!” While hilarious, her sass has kicked up a few notches recently. Another example, I can’t remember what she was upset with me for, but her line was, “And secondly,” {points her finger in the air} “you don’t tell me what to do!” These moments usually make me laugh and aren’t at all problematic. But for each of her sassy little zingers, there are probably three all-out meltdowns. It’s the same whether she gets her feelings hurt, is infuriated, or has an injury {real or imagined}… she flops to the floor/ground on her bottom, opens her mouth and wails. Sometimes she goes flat on her back. Most of the time it’s over something minor that is easily fixed. I take that back, most of the time it’s because she wants something Big Sister is playing with, and our policy is to ask nicely for a turn and when the other person is finished with the toy, they’ll give it to you. Threenagers aren’t usually too keen on that policy. All in all, it’s not even the meltdowns and the attitude that are the trouble. It’s the fact that they inevitably arise at a really really really bad time. We are working through it day-by-day, and I know for sure that when our spunky little Threenager turns 4, we’ll miss some of her shenanigans. I have a strong feeling that many of them will stick around, but there are always those things that they eventually stop saying and doing. While I won’t miss the tantrums, there is a lot about this Threenager of mine that will be sorely missed as she grows up!

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